How many question marks are there in this post?
It's already August. Ramadhan is around the corner. Then haj season again. Seems only a few days ago that I came back from haj. Wow ... how time flies (answer: like an arrow, of course.)
And ouch ... I haven't made much progress in life. Whatever little progress that I have made comes from the office. Yeah, project moves a bit.
Have I improved myself as a worker? A wee bit. But being a worker is only a supporting role, isn't it?
How about other bigger roles that I have to play in life? Like being a servant to Allah Taala and a follower of Muhammad s.a.w.; being a son to aging parents; being a husband, a trusted friend and a father; a neighbor? No improvement at all. Nothing. Am the same guy. No achievement to shout about.
Well, the age is progressing. Yeah, that is certain. Meaning, I'm nearing death by the minute.
Sigh ...
Will I still let myself miss the opportunity to grab all I can from what life has to offer so that I can be better at playing all the roles and to please Allah Taala?
Will I still let each day come my way and make myself go through the mill while hoping that nothing bad happens? Then sleep? Then wake up in the morning? Grow older by a day? And repeat till death comes?
Am I waiting for a God-sent change to happen? Or, do I start to make things happen, then pray and let God take charge? Or, am I in the state of being redha with what life/God has to offer? Is this being redha or is this plain lazy?
To be honest, I feel alright with this kind of life. Not extremely happy, and the pain is bearable. And I thank Allah Taala, alhamdulillah.
Is it ok to be feeling the way I feel now? Is this being redha, or is this being complacent?
Why am I feeling this way? Am I missing something? Am I still looking for something? If I am, what am I looking for?
This is getting boring. Better stop now.
And ouch ... I haven't made much progress in life. Whatever little progress that I have made comes from the office. Yeah, project moves a bit.
Have I improved myself as a worker? A wee bit. But being a worker is only a supporting role, isn't it?
How about other bigger roles that I have to play in life? Like being a servant to Allah Taala and a follower of Muhammad s.a.w.; being a son to aging parents; being a husband, a trusted friend and a father; a neighbor? No improvement at all. Nothing. Am the same guy. No achievement to shout about.
Well, the age is progressing. Yeah, that is certain. Meaning, I'm nearing death by the minute.
Sigh ...
Will I still let myself miss the opportunity to grab all I can from what life has to offer so that I can be better at playing all the roles and to please Allah Taala?
Will I still let each day come my way and make myself go through the mill while hoping that nothing bad happens? Then sleep? Then wake up in the morning? Grow older by a day? And repeat till death comes?
Am I waiting for a God-sent change to happen? Or, do I start to make things happen, then pray and let God take charge? Or, am I in the state of being redha with what life/God has to offer? Is this being redha or is this plain lazy?
To be honest, I feel alright with this kind of life. Not extremely happy, and the pain is bearable. And I thank Allah Taala, alhamdulillah.
Is it ok to be feeling the way I feel now? Is this being redha, or is this being complacent?
Why am I feeling this way? Am I missing something? Am I still looking for something? If I am, what am I looking for?
This is getting boring. Better stop now.
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