Thoughts Milling About

Thank you to those who engineered and worked for the independence of this beloved country, and to those who contributed to develop her to what she is today. This is our country. We love this country. To the plunderers and would be plunderers in this country or outside of this country, this is our vow: We who have might will fight you with our hands. We who have lesser might will fight you with our words. We who have the least might pray that Allah Ta'ala release His dogs to your throats. Amin ... May Allah Ta'ala be pleased with Malaysia and her people.

Ayah called just now. Ayah said he and mak won't be visiting me in Ramadhan as planned. Ayah said he needs to get the incision on his arm dressed every day at the hospital. I want to see them. I want to have sahur and to break fast with them. I will visit them up north next weekend, insyaAllah. May Allah Ta'ala forgive them and be Merciful to them as they have been merciful to me since I was small. Amin.

Love is an effort, occasionally accompanied by a good feeling inside. We say, "I call you." To call is a verb. We say, "I love you." Therefore, to love is a verb, too. Since love is a verb, love is an action. Action takes effort. Love is an effort. No wonder people say, "It is a labor of love." Raising children is a labor of love. So is growing daisies. Love is laborious, is it not? A lot of effort needs to be put in when we love someone or something. After we put in all that effort, we feel something nice inside. Occasionally. This nice feeling accompanies the act of love. Sometimes we hear somebody tell us that he/she fell in love at first sight. That's not really love, is that? That's infatuation. Infatuation doesn't take any effort. It's a feeling that doesn't accompany any action. Love is accompanied by a nice feeling, occasionally. Occasionally, we feel bad. Because the person we love hurt us after all the labor ...

My dad. He's in my mind for past few days. And getting stronger tonight. Must call him tomorrow. InsyaAllah. O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they have nourished me when I was young.

Is that possible? To think of love. Thinking is a rational act. Love is emotional. Therefore, how to be rational with something emotional? Or, how to be rational with something irrational? No, that can't be right. I have made the wrong assumption that emotion equals irrationality. God is full of Love. And I can't say God is full of irrationality. God loves us. We sin against him. When we seek His forgiveness, He forgives. Some people may argue the absence of rationale in forgiving. It does not make sense to forgive someone who has betrayed you. It makes more sense to reciprocate with punishment. When we sin, we betray God, don't we? Yet, God forgives. Why? Because, God is All Forgiving, too. And a small amount of that Forgiving trait trickles into us, too. Now it makes sense. Now it's rational. What am I doing? I'm rationalizing an emotion. I'm thinking of love. It is possible to do that. To think of love.

It's already August. Ramadhan is around the corner. Then haj season again. Seems only a few days ago that I came back from haj. Wow ... how time flies (answer: like an arrow, of course.) And ouch ... I haven't made much progress in life. Whatever little progress that I have made comes from the office. Yeah, project moves a bit. Have I improved myself as a worker? A wee bit. But being a worker is only a supporting role, isn't it? How about other bigger roles that I have to play in life? Like being a servant to Allah Taala and a follower of Muhammad s.a.w.; being a son to aging parents; being a husband, a trusted friend and a father; a neighbor? No improvement at all. Nothing. Am the same guy. No achievement to shout about. Well, the age is progressing. Yeah, that is certain. Meaning, I'm nearing death by the minute. Sigh ... Will I still let myself miss the opportunity to grab all I can from what life has to offer so that I can be better at playing all the...

Past few entries in this blog have been about politics. What's gotten into me? I haven't been bitten by the bug, have I? Or, maybe things have never been this bad before that almost no one can ignore it now. It is such a high drama nowadays that suspense lurks in every corner, ready to pounce on you anytime. Speaking of drama, a face comes to mind. Raja Petra Kamaruddin has been writing a lot of stories. Don't know if those are facts or fiction but his writings in Malaysia Today are so enjoyable to read that I would put him together with Robert Ludlum. There are many socio-policital blogs out there. Every body seems to have some opinions on all matters. Threfore, I want to promise to myself that my mill shall not produce anymore thoughts on politics.